8 Comments

  1. Kim

    It’s ok to appoint a visiting family member to be a “buffer ” if you have a hard time setting boundaries. Let them be the ” mean guy 😉

  2. Ariel

    Having a baby doesn’t mean parents are entitled to special privileges. “Don’t visit unless you’re willing to help.” “Ask if you can pickup something at the store.” Guests are not servants. Guests should not feel obligated to spend money to enjoy time with the family. It was the parents decision to have the child; it should be they who are taking on these responsibilities and financial obligations.

    • Karen

      I totally understand your point, Ariel, and thanks for your comment! I wrote this post because I often see the opposite with my new mom clients… family and friends who feel entitled to see the new baby and don’t understand how exhausted, emotional and needy the new parents often are after (sometimes) days in labor and/or long sleepless nights with a fussy newborn. Neither party should feel entitled. We all need to understand one another better. Thanks for your comment!

  3. michelle Schmidt

    I understand the need for boundaries and helping the new parents out. But there are people such as grandmothers who are a great help. You seem to alienate them into the the general pool of visitors. You never mentioned once the benefits of having someone around to help provide extra sleep for parents or support during transitions. Most grandparents have experience and can be a big help.

    • Karen

      Good point! I do mention grandparents and the importance of having help in some of my other posts. I should make that distinction in this post, too. Thanks for the great feedback, Michelle!

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